By Lily Crisp
There’s a Sanskrit aphorism often used in meditation called ‘Ham Sa’; meaning ‘I am That’. The saying implies that you are divine and infinite simply as you are. As ‘that’. To me self love is this proverb. Accept yourself in its ever fluid state by understanding and forgiving it constantly.
Your journey towards self love begins within. It begins with a desire for change. A recognition that you deserve more. It can be stripped back and honest, like newly formed routine or something bigger like doing that one thing you’ve been avoiding.
All throughout my adolescence, I dealt with self love on the daily. There were brief moments when I was radiating confidence. Yet, more so, I was consumed in self degradation. Experiencing tranquil moments amidst a constant, turbulent storm of frustration, guilt and blame.
One thing we neglect about self love, is that it is ugly. Butt ugly. You trudge through years of feeling pain and self repression, with a consistent loss of hope. It’s a cesspool of unwanted therapy and bad haircuts. The key to overcoming this despair is by reminding yourself that you with all your issues and quirks are ripe and alive. It is repeating wholesome rituals daily, with hope that the negativity you feel will be drowned out in the light you bring to your soul. You are here in this present moment. It is just as temporary and fragile as you are, so connect with it.
The ‘self love’ movement is fuelled by social media and in my opinion this is its greatest downfall. Social media acts as a cipher of one’s self. It will never truely represent anyone as everyone is so much more than a collection of manicured images and captions. Even ‘self love’ posts come with pretence. It’s fun but still live with split identities. So I urge you to ask yourself without a filter, who really are you?
There are days when I do not love myself. And there will be days when you feel the same. Allow yourself to feel that way, recognise your hurt but do not let it overcome you.
When I honour myself for who I am, for just ‘that’, I see myself with clarity. By following rituals of self care, I begin to realise my self worth. I am just ‘that’ and it is bliss.
Let your intuition guide you to a place of love. The journey always begins with, simply, you.